I sat as a passenger inside Angela’s car with my eyes focused on the outside world blurring past me in a constant shade of green. Mostly I was silent to the many questions my friend inundated me with as we made our way down the road towards my house. I really wasn’t trying to be rude. If I could have talked to anyone about Jasper and me then it should have been the girl in the driver’s seat.

It was late morning. A whole 10 hours had passed since Angela first caught Jasper and I red-handed in the act of displaying our new found love for each other. It was something that I found myself embarrassed over and extremely tongue tied about. My mind kept replaying the scene over and over to the point where my face was permanently shaded in red. There was no time for the blush to fade away, because ever since Angela saw us, I could think of nothing else.

I cringed imagining that she may have witnessed Jasper’s hand gently caressing my breast after he had managed to undress my top half in all of a split second. Of course, this had been just as our uninvited guest walked up to the passenger side window of the Porsche and tapped on the glass. We had been so consumed with our foreplay that even Jasper hadn’t heard Angela or her car approach. I wasn’t exactly sure what she saw, but I did know that she had seen far too much to keep my new relationship a secret.

I suppose I could have just asked her what she had stumbled upon last night, but it was simply impossible for me to force myself to mention that event. Hell, I could barely do much beyond grimace and shrug in response to her many questions. The sound of Angela’s frustrated sigh caught my attention then and I felt guilt wash over me. Why was it so hard for me to talk to Angela about this? She was my friend and someone I knew was able to keep a secret, unlike some others I had encountered in Forks. The more I contemplated this, the more I realized it all boiled down to just one fact. I had been seen doing something that was the complete polar opposite of how people perceived me. I was innocent minded Bella and for me, getting to second base with someone of the opposite sex was basically incomprehensible.

I had a reputation, brought about by Edward’s hands-off approach to keeping me alive. No amount of heavy petting would ever be witnessed by the general population where Edward and I were concerned. He never wanted to lose control with me and this in effect made my friends and acquaintances think I was either a lesbian or a prude, depending on who you talked to. I suppose the latter term might have been truthful. It certainly had been the case before I found somebody to love. Where most teenagers wore their sexuality out on their sleeve, I did not. I never loved anyone while I lived in Phoenix and for me love and sex were one in the same. Once I moved to Forks and met Edward though I would have gladly relinquished prudish Bella if only Edward had given me the chance.

Now, so much had changed and I was in a new relationship with another vampire. Only this one did not follow the same rigid rules as Edward. It was only natural that my inner sexual being would emerge, since it was no longer tied down. Too bad one of my closest friends had seen me in the act of going further than I ever had before with a boy. I felt my already red cheeks flame again at the thought and I quickly covered them with my hands.

Angela must have seen me do this, because not long afterward she started talking again, but this time there was no plea for answers. She was trying to be comforting, “Seriously Bella, you shouldn’t be embarrassed. It’s no big deal. So, I saw you and Jasper making out, it is hardly anything to get worked up over. Yeah, it’s embarrassing for all three of us, but someday we’ll laugh about it. Besides, if only you knew half the stuff Ben and I do when no one is looking.”

“What?” I turned my face away from scenery gazing to look at her.

“I’m hardly queen bee when it comes to morality, but I suppose if that’s what the world wants to see me as, because of my nerdy glasses and conservative clothes then okay. I know it makes my dad sleep easier at night thinking I’m his innocent little girl.” Angela winked at me, before focusing her eyes back on the road, my mouth gaping in response.

“You’re not a virgin?” I asked, astonished at the prospect of good girl Angela having a sex life.

My friend laughed shyly, “If we were to use the Webster’s dictionary definition of the word then yes, I am a virgin, but I wouldn’t exactly say I deserve that title. We’ll just leave it at that.”

She laughed again, but the sound was edgy and I wondered if it was to hide the nervousness she must have felt for exposing such an intimate detail of her life. It was a well known fact that the entire Forks high school thought Angela was the leader of the school’s chastity club … well, everyone at school except Ben apparently. As I digested this eye-opening shocker from Angela, I began to feel extremely petty for having kept the extent of Jasper and me a secret from her for the past few hours. Here she was being so open about an uncomfortable topic and I couldn’t do the same.

I felt momentum rising in my chest, forcing me to confide in Angela and tell her the truth. Then all at once my words came hurtling out like a confession to a priest, “Jasper told me he loved me last night and I reciprocated. We didn’t have sex--it almost came to that, but it’s not what you walked in on. The almost-sex happened earlier. Crap … did I just say that?”

My face fell into my hands like I was an ostrich shoving its head in the sand. Maybe if I hid behind them long enough what I said would leave Angela’s memory. No dice, because I heard my friend chuckle before saying, “If that happened then I’m really happy for you two. It seems only natural what with all the time you two have been spending together and the way he looks at you.”

I pulled my head out of my hands, enticed by her words, “How does he look at me?”

Angela was silent for a brief moment as she tried to pin point the exact words that best described what she meant, “Jasper looking at you is like he’s concentrating really hard on something. I know that sounds stupid, but his focus is always on you. The few times I have been around you both I’ve noticed that he never really sees me or anything else for the matter. It’s always you.”

I didn’t try to fight the smile beginning to take shape on my face. In fact I reveled in it. Damn it felt really good to smile and be happy. I was deliriously joyful at hearing Angela’s interpretation of Jasper looking at me. I was already aware that Jasper loved me. He had declared it in so many ways last night. His verbal communication of that love was the most obvious, but I also felt it in the way he held my hand or wanted to take me for a stroll though the woods and I most definitely felt it when his cold lips were caressing the surface of my skin. Still, to hear from a second party that she saw love in Jasper’s eyes when he looked at me … well, it held a different implication that made me feel warm all over.

“It’s so nice to see you smiling again, Bella. I’m glad you’ve had Jasper in your life since ...” Angela trailed off obviously not wanting to bring about sadness for me, but then she picked up again when we reached the driveway to my house minutes later. “I know I’m no Jasper, but if you need anything you know all you have to do is call.”

“I know. Thanks, Angela.”

I reached over to embrace the girl, but pulled away when I heard her say, “Looks like you have a visitor.”

“What?” I whipped my head around to stare out the windshield in the direction of Angela’s attention.

My heart skipped a beat when I saw who was sitting on the porch steps with his eyes staring in our direction and I absentmindedly mouthed the name of my guest.

Jacob.

Once our gazes locked, my friend bounded off the steps and strode over to the car. Then in all of a few seconds I was locked in an embrace with him. After our hug ended I waved goodbye to Angela as she drove away and then got down to business. If he was here then there must have been some development with the whole Sam thing.

“What’s up?” I asked him in the most nonchalant way possible, but of course he could see the anxiousness I tried to hide.

“Calm down, Bella. Nothing’s wrong. I just wanted to see how you were.” Jake said, shaking his head at my habit of freaking out at the drop of the hat, but could he expect any less after everything I had been through?

“Well, I assumed you had news about Sam.” I explained.

Jacob stared down at me while shrugging his shoulders “Nah, nothing new to tell you about that. I just wanted to see how you were after last night. Did you go through with it?”

For an extremely long panic ridden moment my mind conjured up images of my body entangled with Jasper in the meadow. No, of course that’s not what Jacob meant when he said – did you go through with it. He had no idea that Jasper and I were even together in the romantic sense of the word. I also highly doubted someone who had once professed to love me would want to hear any details concerning my sexual interaction with another man. Jake was simply referring to Edward’s ashes. I had told him, during our brief phone conversation the day before, of my plans to take them out to the meadow.

“Yes. It’s done.” I said flatly, trying not to convey the array of emotions I felt, from the sadness at having spread Edward’s ashes to the love that filled me afterward.

I stared down at my feet, which thankfully were no longer in heels, while I waited for his reply. I had abandoned the awful heels after arriving at Angela’s last night. Now I stood in some comfy sneakers. “Let’s go for a walk. It’s a nice day.” I suddenly heard Jake suggest and I craned my neck up to stare at the tall boy next to me.

He was right. The sun was in rare form for our mostly wet and gray summer. It was exactly the type of day that would have kept a vampire indoors. “Okay.” I replied, “But, I should at least tell Charlie I’m back.”

Jake reached for my hand to stop me from heading into the house, “He’s already gone fishing. He left a note for you on the door. It’s Saturday after all. Did you really think your dad would miss out on catching some fish as soon as the sun was up?”

I shrugged. Before everything had drastically changed in my life with the death of Edward and Alice, my dad would have been on his death bed before missing his Saturdays spent fishing. I was glad to hear of this return to routine for him. Charlie feeling comfortable enough to leave before I got home meant that he had seen progress with my therapy. With the help of Jasper, my life was slowly beginning to see a return to normalcy … well, as normal as was possible for a girl who loved a vampire and had a best friend werewolf.

Jacob continued to hold my hand as we began walking along the well worn forest trail near my house. He wasn’t talking and the silence hung heavy in the air around us. It didn’t feel comfortable at all and I sensed that Jake was biding his time just waiting for the right moment to tell me what was going on in his head. I tried giving him time to think over whatever it was, but after enduring ten minutes of the stifling quiet I stopped dead in my tracks.

“What’s really going on Jake? You didn’t just want to take me out here for a leisurely stroll. I know you and I can tell there is something you want to say.”

At that moment I felt my friend’s hand pull away. His body was facing forward at the expanse of the trail in front of us and I was left to stare at his back. Jake refused to turn around while he spoke, “Fine, if you want honesty then why don’t you tell me exactly what is going on between you and Jasper. From everything you’ve said before it should only be friendship, but Holy Hell, Bella, his stink is all over you and when I say that I mean ALL over you.”

In an incredibly fast move, Jake spun around to glare at me and the look was almost comparable to how I had seen him a few times before … right as he was about to phase. Witnessing him this way robbed me of any ability to speak. I knew I should answer him … maybe even lie if only to take away that wolf like hatred in his eyes, but another part of me, the spit-fire Jasper had once mentioned, gnawed at my brain. It was telling me to put this jerk in his place. He had no right to give me grief over who I was with and what I did with them.

When I eventually found my inner strength it came roaring out in the form of a yell, “Why does it matter to you who I am with or if I smell like them? Is this some form of jealousy from you? Damn it, Jake! We’ve gone over this so many times. I’m sick of sounding like a broken record. Don’t make tell you again how I feel about you. I don’t want to hurt you.”

And I honestly didn’t want to hurt Jake. No matter what he did or said, deep down I could never truly want to cause him pain. He had already gone through so much sadness already with the majority of it being my fault. Still, he had to remember that this was my life. If I had unintentionally fallen in love with another vampire then I certainly didn’t have to answer to him.

Although, as my eyes took in the image of Jake beginning to shake violently my bravado began to fade by leaps and I debated the idea of making a run for it. By the looks of things I had angered the wolf buried deep inside. It was probably my confirmation that I was being intimate with his kind’s mortal enemy or maybe I had flared his jealousy even more. All I knew was that I had to create distance between the two of us before it was too late for me. I spun on my heel with a vision of my house inside my head, but did I really have a chance against the speed of a werewolf? I had to at least try. Unfortunately, Jake reached out a hand to stop me just as I readied to leap.

“Wait!” He said thorough clenched teeth, “I’m not going to phase. I’m just trying to tell you something, but Sam ordered the pack not to.”

A loud groan erupted from his mouth as his eyes widened and then he fell to the earth in a heap. He laid there unmoving for a few moments and had I not been so incredibly frightened by the whole experience I may have sat by his side. But, he did move again and I sighed in relief when Jake seemed his normal self again. He still wore the face of someone who was royally pissed, but at least there was no more convulsive like shaking going on.

“Are you okay?” I asked hesitantly.

Jake nodded from his position on the ground and took a few deep breaths before slowly returning to his feet. “Bella, I know that it must seem like I’m coming across like a jealous freak, but really I’m not. You made your choice a long time ago and I accept that even if it is an incredibly stupid choice. I don't care about that, it's only ... I have to tell you that if you want Jasper to be alive or undead or whatever he is, then you have to stay away from him. You can’t be with him.”

This didn’t sound like typical ornery Jacob saying whatever just to get his way, “Why is that?” I asked, truly curious.

Jake’s face softened somewhat at my question and he escaped the distance between us, “I’ve been trying to tell you this for over a month now and even though I’m glad that I have finally forced myself to overpower an order from Sam, I hate that I have to do this to you. I have to though, because if Sam finds out about you and Jasper then it will be an all out war between us and his kind. Bella …”

He took both of my hands then in a kind gesture meant to soften the blow of his words, “It wasn’t the newborns that killed Edward and Alice … it was Sam. He somehow got it into his head thinking he’s God or something, but he figured that the only way to keep you safe was to destroy the vampires you loved most and if you don’t leave Jasper alone then the same will probably happen to him.”

“Were you intending on walking at a human pace for the whole five miles?” Bella grumbled, her eyes looking skeptically into mine.

I chuckled, returning her gaze with a smile as we continued to walk hand in hand through the thick forest. I helped lift her body gently across a fallen tree trunk after watching her struggle with maneuvering around it and decided that her complaint was probably well placed. The heels Bella wore hindered her ability to move even at a snail’s pace.

“Well, I had hoped to give you a bit of a human experience by strolling hand in hand with you. That is how it’s done is it not?” I replied.

I was not exactly sure how to approach this new union of mine. For far too long I had been living amongst vampires and for the most part humans were separate pieces to life’s puzzle for me. Early on I saw them simply as vessels of blood, a disposable item placed on earth for my willful taking. Although, the strong empathy I possessed had eventually ended that lifestyle choice of mine. After meeting Alice and beginning our life together, I was still set comfortably apart from humans except in passing. Bella had been the first of her kind to join my inner circle and forever would it be ingrained inside my head what I had almost done to the girl, because of her introduction into my world.

The scene of me rushing full tilt towards the object of my blood lust, Bella’s oozing paper cut, still haunted me. Yet, our relationship had always been strained from the start. Even if I had never come after Bella with the intent of draining her blood that night of her 18th birthday it still would not have changed anything. Instead it was a greater force that brought us together.

Bereavement.

That shared emotion eventually gave way to new ones and now as strange as it sounded to me, I had fallen in love with her. I had been with Bella in the most intimate of ways and I raked my brain for ideas of giving this flesh and blood girl the correct dating experience.

Bella’s eyes flashed a look of affection upon me and I felt her chagrin being to fade, “Oh, Jasper that’s sweet of you to want to do that and I might be more inclined to take you up on that offer if my shoes weren’t making it completely impossible to walk on anything, but a well worn path. Also there is the fact that I have a full bladder that complicates the matter.”

“How inconsiderate of me.” I groaned, frustrated once again with my inability to see life through human eyes as Bella did.

Of course, she would be uncomfortable. What had I been thinking? Swiftly I reached down to circle her waist with my hands and then lifted her tiny figure into my arms. Bella was so warm and soft against me as she positioned herself into a comfortable arrangement within my hold. While she moved, placing her arms around my neck and her head against my shoulder, I noted how it felt so natural for me to be embracing her like this and I also admitted to myself that finally being able to express my feelings to her had been a relief. I did not know the extent of what my love was capable of, but at least she was aware and at least I had confessed that I was in love.

Bella nuzzled her face into my chest and I moved my lips down to kiss her soft brown hair. While so close, I pulled her scent and the intense floral flavor of her blood into my lungs. This action caused every inch of my vampire senses to become alert. Before, the experience would have brought about my less than human qualities, like the feel and taste of venom in my mouth, but after everything that occurred between us tonight I could only feel desire. I wanted her body. It took all of my will power not to take her for my own right then and there. I tried to force myself into focusing. There were much more urgent needs that had to be met first and I had made a promise to myself that I would give Bella a sexual experience to be remembered. There would be no repeat of the hasty and all too brief union we had shared in the meadow.

Thankfully, Bella pushed aside my less than gentlemanly thoughts by asking a question that had my mind been elsewhere it might have brought about irritation in me, but now I welcomed the shift in my thoughts. If anything it would keep me of thinking about the warms places of Bella’s body I wanted to revisit.

“I think it was very cute of you to want to take me on a romantic stroll through the woods, but the way you phrased it, well, it makes me wonder if you had experience with dating before Alice … like when you were human?” I could sense some mischievousness in her and why not? The girl was obviously approaching a subject I had asked her not to only a few minutes before … my human past.

I overstated an eye roll enough for Bella to tell I was unhappy with her sneaky ways, but also indicated that I would none the less answer her query. “If you must pry then I suppose I will tell you that yes, I did court one girl, but it ended rather quickly. She did not want to continue to be with me once I told her I had signed up to fight in the war. Long distance relationships meant something entirely different back then and I was not in love with her enough to stay behind as she wished.”

Bella was silent for a few seconds after I finished my short tale and then she looked up at me with a heartfelt stare, “I’m sorry for bringing up your past. I know it makes you unhappy to think of it … I just … well, there is so much about you that I know, but even more that I don’t. I was only curious about your past relationships, considering you know the extent of mine.”

I pulled her tighter into me and briefly brushed my lips against her forehead, “It’s understandable, but honestly Bella we both are on the same page when it comes to our past histories with the opposite sex. True, you are still a virgin and I am not, but our relationships before were completely monogamous. So, it would seem that there are no secret skeletons to bring forth from the closet. We are coming into this situation as equals.”

A large smile played over her features as she replied, “It feels nice to hear you say that, because all of my life I have always felt inadequate when held up to anyone else. I was just so average in comparison … average looks, average brain, average life. Then when I fell in love with Edward and to my utter amazement he returned the feeling, there just always seemed to be a nagging voice inside my head telling me I was never meant to be with him, that I looked incredibly out of place by his side. I should feel that way about you too, because the similarities between Edward and you are striking, but … I don’t. Us, as a couple, being together or whatever it is we are doing, gives me such a peaceful feeling. There is no constant anxiety over less than perfect me. Jasper, you make me feel like I am an equal to you. ”

The girl was serene while she spoke, but when she reached the end of her speech Bella’s face quickly scrunched into a cringe, “Eh … did that sound as corny to you as it did echoing in my ears?”

“Not at all.” I laughed, “It sounded rather profound to me.”

Bella interpreted my words as teasing, because she playfully stuck out her tongue and exaggerated her tone to sound cynical, “Well, as long as you think so.”

I turned to focus my eyes directly into Bella’s and filled her with a deep love. Superimposing this emotion onto her was getting easier to do now that I no longer felt conflicted about caring for Bella beyond that of friendship and I let the sensation flow from my body into hers. I could never fully explain exactly how I felt for the girl with words. They had always been my downfall and so, at this point in time I was thankful that my emphatic abilities were able to share my love for Bella without me ever having to stumble with my less than articulate language. “It is in all seriousness when I say that I feel the same way as you do. Bella, the fact that you are human does not make you any less to me. There is no doubt in my mind that we are one in the same.”

Her lips mouthed a thank you and as I watched the fullness of them move against each other a sudden urge took over me. I seized the momentum of my passion by pressing my mouth against hers. After a few minutes passed with us being locked in an all encompassing kiss, I felt the need to stop walking. I knew my senses were slipping away in their sharpness and even I was not immune to smashing into a tree when my entire being was so occupied in a completely separate action.

Our kiss was so intense that it simply took away my ability to know right from left. Eventually the necessity for our mouths to part ways presented itself when I heard Bella’s breath begin to come out in ragged bursts of air between my lips. I knew I shouldn’t torture the girl this way, being a vampire made any form of romantic expression from me that much more difficult for a human to experience.

“I’m sorry. I will not delay you any longer.” I apologized once my face was a safe enough distance away from hers for me not to be tempted again, “Hold on tight. We are about to move at excessive speeds.” I grinned playfully.

“Oh, no.” Bella groaned and then shoved her face into my chest.

Once I used the full extent of my abilities at running, it took only five minutes to reach my home. Settling Bella down at the foot of the porch leading to the front door, I told her of our arrival. She seemed uneasy in her footing, but I helped her along by placing an arm around her shoulders.

“Ready?” I asked, doubting she was.

I could tell by the look Bella shot me in response and also the emotions I sensed inside her that the girl was apprehensive. All signs pointed to the center of that hesitation being Rosalie, who I could hear softly talking within the walls of the house. Others were also being vocal in her company, but it was my sister’s voice that I focused in on. She was still unaware of our presence outside and as I slowly helped Bella climb the steps leading to the door, I whispered softly into her ear, “Don’t worry. I’m here with you.”

She sent me a pleading glance as I used my key to unlock the entrance and I kissed her cheek to help send calm throughout her while we moved through the door frame. My eyes quickly took stock of the situation and I noticed that sitting in the room adjacent to where we now stood was the rest of my family. Each was involved in their own activity. Emmett and Rosalie were entranced by a game of Backgammon, while Carlisle and Esme sat in front of the flat screen watching the most recent version of ‘Pride and Prejudice’- Esme’s favorite movie.

All four were staring in our direction before Bella and I had even been able to step more than a few inches inside. There was a tension filled second that transpired were not one of us moved or said a word. We stood from our position watching them while they did likewise. Someone had to move the situation forward and ultimately it was Esme who broke the awkwardness we all felt trapped in, by walking slowly towards Bella and me. She exclaimed Bella’s name, although her voice, hardly above a whisper, was almost comparable to that of a relieved sigh. She above anyone else in my family knew the importance of this moment and pressed to be the one to find an end to all the strife we had been through in the past month.

My mother pulled Bella into a fierce hold and I could feel the incredibly strong emotions of love and sympathy pouring off of Esme. Her affectionate action was like a signal or white flag to the rest of my family. She had dissipated the heightened uneasiness for us all and as Bella returned Esme’s embrace it was like the girl’s cloak of fear fell to the floor too.

Bella felt at home, as well she should have, and it was not long before the rest of them joined in to greet the one I now loved. Even Rosalie, who had up until this moment avoided my presence, because of the guilt she harbored at having been the cause of such consternation for me, came up to welcome Bella like a long lost family member. I was pleased to sense remorse in Rosalie as she said her hello.

At that instant I knew that neither I nor Bella had to worry. This was her chance to make peace and Rosalie did so in the only way she knew how. There would be no apology spoken, my sister was too prideful for that. Yet, this one action of her welcoming Bella willingly without any prompting from Emmett, Carlisle or Esme was a sign. Rosalie had given up on her notion that the girl did not belong among us. She had finally accepted Bella into our family, which was a great relief to me. I did not want to worry what would happen once it was known to all that I, like Edward, was in a relationship with a human. It was imperative that Bella not have to worry about such things when everything around us was so unstable.

The rest of the evening went along as smoothly as I could have hoped and it reminded me somewhat of how things had been before the battle that had claimed both Edward and Alice. We were minus two members of our family, but it was not as glaringly obvious as it had been on past occasions when the animosity between Rosalie and I had flared, keeping us all separated by our emotions. The movie and game were all, but forgotten as the conversation flowed back and forth so effortlessly between the group like old times. Although, I realized that there was one other detail besides the absence of our lost loved ones that had changed.

My proximity to Bella.

In the past I had always kept my distance, watching the girl from afar, so that the expanse between us kept the smell of human blood from enticing the vampire within me. There was no order given for me to stay back from her. It was a choice I willingly made in order to protect the one my brother loved.

Unlike the past however, I spent this evening sitting directly next to Bella on the couch while the rest of my family made seats for themselves on various pieces of furniture scattering the room. There was even a point during our visit when I felt bold enough to playfully braid Bella’s hair into two sections like pigtails, while she strummed out a song on my guitar for everyone to hear. I was remembering the teasing words she had said about my preoccupation with her hair and instinctively I reached out wanting to touch it and the braiding soon followed. I hid my amusement when her fingers stumbled a bit as my touch brought about both pleasure and shyness in her and once the style I created was finished I found myself marveling at the way it made Bella appear much like a woman from my era. My mind began wandering and imagined us courting and eventually making a life together as husband and wife during that long ago century. Of course, this daydream of mine had us both sharing the same genetic makeup as humans and I sighed softly in defeat thinking how this could never be.

While losing myself in this fantasy, I saw Rosalie’s eyes glance suspiciously in my direction. I half expected to feel flushed with her annoyance at the familiarly I used with touching Bella but, instead she was only curious. I surmised Rosalie was probably wondering about my relationship with the girl and of our new found closeness. Then I saw her exchange a knowing glace with Emmett who was leaning lazily against the armrest of Rosalie’s chair and I inwardly groaned.

If only they knew the full extent of tonight’s events.

But, telling them had not been decided. There was no way to discern exactly when the proper time was to reveal that part about Bella and me. It was so new and not yet ready for the opinions of others who might not understand or even agree. I especially did not want Sam to get wind of any of this, since my family and I were all aware how he felt about the mingling of vampires with humans. What would his response be to Bella’s romantic involvement with another member of the undead? I shuddered thinking that any plausible reaction from Sam would only be a negative for the girl.

At that moment, Bella turned her head almost as if she had sensed my uneasiness and then laying aside my guitar she took hold of my hand, “I suppose we should be going now. I do have a sleepover date with Angela to get to before it’s too late.”

She was looking directly into my eyes when she spoke and I could tell that Bella wanted me to reiterate her statement. “Yes, it is getting late and from the looks of things I would assume that Pearl Jam has played their last set.”

There was a collective chuckle from the group since they all were aware of our night’s little charade and I pulled out my cell phone to glance down at the glowing clock on the screen. It was nearly midnight, which had been our agreed rendezvous time with Angela.

We said our goodbyes and Bella received a few more hugs from Esme and a slap on the back from Emmett before we exited the house. Outside, I moved at a human pace, hand in hand with Bella when suddenly I halted and said, “Here, why don’t we take the Porsche to Angela’s? It would be far easier than running back to the Mercedes and then driving to her house from that location.”

Bella tilted her head in my direction with a concerned look covering her face, “Are you sure that you … well, I mean is it something that may seem okay now, but later will bring up painful memories?”

Her hand came up to softly brush my cheek and I took her tiny appendage away from my face and pulled it, so that she moved closer into me. Then I held her tightly in my arms. Having Bella around was like possessing my own personal buffer for the recollections that caused me the greatest emotional suffering. If she was with me then I did not fear that thoughts of Alice would come back to haunt me, “I will be fine.” I stated, knowing without a doubt that this was the truth.

Our drive back to where the night had originated from was mostly spent in quiet reflection for me. So much had changed in the past few hours and all of it had been for the better. I may have regretted my decision to follow through with my passionate yearnings for Bella while in the meadow, but in the end the situation had worked itself out. In the wake of such a significant moment there was only love and even though I still held onto my grief, the emotion had taken a backseat somewhere off in the distance. It had all, but been muted by Bella’s declaration to me and mine to her.

We were in love.

“I love you, Bella.” I murmured into her lips as we sat inside the idling Porsche waiting for Angela’s arrival, all the while occupying our waiting time with a heated make out session.

“And I love you back.” She replied, her mouth like a blaze against my skin.

And in that moment I knew nothing else mattered to me … only Bella.

I stood at the open door watching as Jasper moved like a bullet shot from a gun off into the distance. Well, actually I couldn’t say that I so much as watched my friend as I marveled at his speed. If only I could move that fast. It would make me much more efficient.

I sighed thinking it was not so long ago when joining the ranks of the likes of Jasper was all, but a certainty for me. Although, now that my main reason behind being part of that world was gone there really wasn’t any desire left inside me to become a vampire. My main center of that wish had always been Edward. Now that he was dead, immortality along with all the other special quirks that came with being part of the undead lost its appeal. No, I would never want to live forever in a world that did not contain him.

Turning away from looking at the landscape outside of the Cullen home, I closed the door and decided to pull my mind away from the detrimental path it was taking. Seriously, Jasper had only been gone a minute and already I was delving into the dark part of my soul where I housed grief. Why was I so weak without him? It was like I couldn’t function for even a second when I lacked Dr. Emo by my side.

And yet…

Jasper had admitted to just as much when we both looked into the face of our loss – the urns. He needed me as much as I needed him. For some reason this thought brought me a bit of peace against the misery my will tried to keep at bay. If Jasper felt the same way for me as I did for him then this meant he wouldn’t tire of me anytime soon. My vampire savior would stay around and together we would pull each other through our suffering. I wrapped my mind around the certainty of his commitment to me and a wave of contentment surged through my body. His commitment to me and mine to him.

I found that focusing on this one detail sustained me just enough and probably would continue to do so until Jasper came back from his trip to get ‘Clueless’. I smirked at the knowledge that the two of us would soon be watching such a girlie movie together. I was glad the film had a decent plot. Otherwise, I may have been embarrassed. Someone of his caliber might think less of me for liking such a girl centric movie.

Shaking my head slightly at the thought of us watching the it, I decided to head in the direction of main floor’s restroom to do a face check. Half of my day had been spent crying and the little bit of mascara I managed to put on for work had probably smeared down my face along with the river of tears.

I could recount three exact moments when the waters works had sprung forth from my tear ducts. The first being while I stood witness as Jasper entered into Alice’s closet and narrated a remembrance of each of her outfits. This had been difficult for him as well as me. Alice had lived and breathed fashion and seeing the many items of clothing displayed around the closet brought back images inside my head of her anytime I saw something I recognized. Of course, Jasper remembered so much more than I did, but the one item that caused the most emotion from us was Alice’s white wedding dress. She had worn the lovely satin gown for their first sham wedding.

Vampires had no need to marry. Finding a deep connection with another of their kind that was strong enough to make them a partner for all eternity was like everything else in their world, an intimate moment shared only with the mate. The extravagance of a wedding was a human triviality, but when Alice and Jasper had joined the pseudo human life of the Cullen’s a wedding had been inevitable. So, Alice had bought a dress and the two recited their vows to each other in the company of a few guests - some human and some vampire. While Jasper retold the tale, I found myself crying and by the story’s end it was Jasper who had to comfort me.

Then there was Jasper’s beautiful guitar work and also seeing the urns that had brought tears to my eyes. I shook my head once more. I had become such a blubbering fool as of late. My imagination conjured up images of just how awful I probably looked. Puffy eyes marred by mascara stains would no doubt be in store for me once I reached the restroom and sure enough, upon arriving at my destination I gasped as my eyes stared widely at the monstrous face looking back at me in the large mirror above the sink.

“Holy Crow!” I exclaimed.

Maybe my tendency to not splurge on makeup was coming back to bite me in the butt. Both my cheeks and the area underneath my eyes were coated in a thick layer of dark brown. Had Jasper seen me this way? Why hadn’t he said anything? Well, the two of us had spent the majority of the day not thinking of such superficial things as physical appearance while we laid out our emotions for the other to see (or feel, in Jasper’s case), but still … I looked hideous! How could my friend have kept a straight face during that whole time?

Taking the backs of my hands, I tried to scrub the dark smears from my face all to no avail. This was going to require more extreme measures and so, I headed back to the couch were my duffel bag was and brought it into the bathroom with me. I pulled out my toiletry bag and attempted to use face wash on the mess my face had become. It worked, but the feeling of cleansing my makeup away caused a want in me to take a shower. Jasper had said he would be back in 15 minutes. Did I have time? I glanced at the large tub to my left with its exquisite white marble surface and dainty cloth shower curtain that was covered in pink flowers. It looked so inviting. 15 minutes … I could manage. Then just like that my clothes fell against the stone cold floor beneath my feet and I stepped into the lavish tub.

The inside of the bathtub smelled fresh and brand new and as far as I could tell there was not a spot of mildew or corrosion on the sleek surface or the shower curtain. Then a thought occurred to me. Did vampires even shower? The tub seemed so unused. I glanced around for a random piece of evidence that would have answered my question – a bottle of shampoo, a bar of soap, but came up empty. I tried to recall a time when Edward might have felt the need to cleanse his body with water and soap, but there was not a memory for me to grasp hold of. Mentally I debated whether or not I should ask Jasper about it. Would the question be too personal? As my mind pondered this a sudden vision assaulted me or rather pleased me with its powerfulness and I quickly diverted away from the immense glory that was Jasper in the shower.

Where the hell had that come from?

For the third time since Jasper’s departure, I found myself turning my head in a back and forth motion, but unlike before when I had done so in reaction to silly thoughts about myself, this action was done for a much different reason. I fervently wanted to shake the image of showering Jasper from branding itself further into my brain.

This is not right. I shouldn’t think of Jasper this way!

Maybe hurrying up with my own shower might wash away the dirty images my brain felt compelled to conjure. Damnit all! Why did I have to be so driven by my raging hormones? I suppose this was what eventually happened when your boyfriend/fiancé refused to make love to you and nothing, but your virginity was left as a parting gift. I grimaced at the cruelty of my thoughts. I had always understood Edward’s aversion to sex with me, but that did not mean I agreed with it. I sighed knowing this wasn’t exactly the first time I had daydreamed about a naked vampire, but it certainly was a change to have the focus of my naughty thoughts not be Edward. Just like with Jasper’s voice residing inside my head, now he was taking a place inside my desires. Rolling my eyes, I decided to get on with my shower and leave such musings behind.

Quickly, I went about washing my hair and body before stepping out into the chilled air of the bathroom. Grasping the much too fancy towel draped over the rack on the wall, I hid my naked form underneath it and set to drying myself off. Then pulling out my meticulously chosen pajamas for the evening - a faded T Shirt of some band Edward had liked and then plain cotton bottoms - I began to dress. I wouldn’t be hidden behind a large comforter tonight, so I wanted to make sure I wasn’t going to be projecting the image of a slob in Jasper’s presence and this meant my usual holey sweats were a no go.

As I was pulling the shirt over my head my ears perked at the sound of a door closing and I came to the conclusion that Jasper must have come home a bit early. It hadn’t felt like 15 minutes. Either way, I hastened to dress myself and get presentable before I exited the bathroom. Once everything was in order I opened the door and stepped out examining the area for my friend. Only my eyes saw a much different person off towards the front entrance. During the short time I had been in the bathroom the sun had fallen lower in the sky causing the living room to be shrouded in dark shadows. If I hadn’t been so terrified I might have turned on a light to see the person standing a couple yards away from me, but I couldn’t be sure who he was and didn’t dare. I only knew that it was a male and he was not Jasper.

I uttered an oath and ran straight back to where I had come from, slamming the door behind me. Of course, this would happen. The irony was so cutting from my point of view. Bella Swan, 18 years old, dead. The victim of a home invasion would be the words of my obituary … not death by sadistic, vengeful vampire … no, my end would come at the hands of a plain old ordinary human.

Just then, as I sat with my back against the door and my knees pulled up against my chest, I heard my cell phone ring. I had dropped the phone in my duffel bag and now that bag was sitting defenseless out in the hallway were my stranger could easily do whatever he wanted with it. I clenched down my teeth just waiting for whatever fate had in store for me. It was inevitable now. There was no way that the silly little lock on the bathroom door would keep whoever it was outside from coming in. The phone rang again and I figured it must be Jasper. He probably couldn’t find the movie. Would he come back to find me alive? I knew how protective he had become of me … his reaction to the name Mike Newton was proof enough that Jasper didn’t like it when others encroached on what was important to him, so would this mean that maybe when I didn’t answer my phone a mental red flag to raise for him. Could I count on my over protective vampire to race home and rescue me in time?

While I desperately clung to this hope, something small slid underneath the crack between the door and the floor and skidded across the tile before coming to a stop inches from my legs. Instantly this device began to play the familiar tune I knew as my ringtone and without questioning how or why my phone was suddenly in sight, I reached out with my hand and grasped it.

“Jasper!” I breathed into the phone, without glancing to see who called… I didn’t have to look at the number to know it was him, I just knew.

It was only after I finished conveying my fear to him and was once again left alone with that emotion, that a low and placating voice spoke to me through the door, “Bella, please come out. I gave you your phone as a show of peace. I just really need to talk to you before that blood sucker gets back.”

“Jacob?” My voice was startled.

He was the last person I ever expected to visit a den of vampires. By nature he hated them and now that I was once again entangled in their lifestyle his feelings for me had taken the same direction as the ones he felt for Jasper. Why the hell was my former best friend here?

“Yes, it’s me … just please open up.” Jake spoke in a calm manner, but I could hear the urgency just below the surface of his voice.

I got to my feet then and swung the door inward to reveal Jacob Black standing on the other side sans shirt as always. Seeing him this way brought back the memory of the pain I felt the last time we had talked … when he had said goodbye. I couldn’t help myself then when I scowled and in a scathingly mocking style said, “Won’t Sam be upset that you decided to disobey his orders? I mean according to him I am not worth acknowledging as a person anymore.”

I breezed past him only to have my hand caught from behind and then roughly jerked back to where I had to face Jacob once more, “Ugh. Seriously Bella there is no time for this. I’m not sure how long I will be able to keep Sam from reading my thoughts. Right now I can block him, but I’m new at this.”

His words made no sense to me. Of course, Sam would read his mind as soon as Jake transformed himself back in a wolf, “What are you talking about?”

“Remember when I told you before that I was the true Alpha of the Quileute wolf pack … that I should have been their leader, but gave it to Sam, because I didn’t want the responsibility. Well, ever since Sam decided to give all of us that stupid order about you I have been trying to hone that leader part of me and I’ve discovered new ways of blocking Sam out. This is actually my first attempt to do something that I really don’t want him seeing in my head. I had to come, though … to warn you.” He talked so fast that I barely had time to comprehend what he spoke of before Jake really hit me in the gut with the news he had been waiting to deliver.

“I still can’t tell you everything since Sam has ordered all of us not to speak of it with anyone, but I have been working on that too. It’s amazing, Bella … when I finally tapped into the fullest of my abilities as a wolf … the things I can do, but yeah no time for that. You see Sam is planning something big and it involves you and your new leech friend Jasper.”

I cringed like I had been stuck in the face by one of Jake’s huge fists. My reaction was not only in response to his choice of term regarding Jasper, but also at my sheer surprise at such a revelation. Sam had enough of an issue with my connection to Jasper that he was planning something big and I was pretty sure that the something big was not meant to be a positive. He wasn’t going to be throwing us a party or something similar anytime soon. No, the way Jacob spoke conveyed just how unpleasant the meaning of the word big actually was. I wanted to press him for more details, but remembered his words – I can’t tell you everything.

“Jake … I don’t know what to say. This is not what I expected to hear from you. To be honest, I never thought you would speak to me again.”

My friend took both his large tan hands and cupped my cheeks with them. Jeez, they were so freaking huge. I almost felt like he could have covered my whole head with them. Then Jake leaned in very closely to my face and whispered, “I’m so sorry about that, Bella, but I didn’t have a choice. I’ve been trying so hard to find a way to talk with you again and see you without having to do it from a far away distance. But, I’m here now and know that I will never ever let Sam or anyone else hurt you.”

His dark eyes stared into mine and I reached out to hug him tightly, “Thank you, Jake.”

Then in an instant my hold on him was broken. Jacob was moving away from me, “I gotta get going before your vamp friend comes back and I lose my concentration.”

I could see it in his face that although, he was okay with being close enough to me when the smell of vampire permeated my body, Jake had no intention of sticking around long enough to be near the originator of that scent.

“But, Jake you just got here and you really should tell Jasper about this yourself. It would be better coming from you.” I was grasping at straws to get him to stay, because he was already inches from the front door.

“Bye, Bella.” He said and was gone before I could protest his departure any further.

I stood there gazing at the entrance feeling dumbstruck. Had that really happened? The experience seemed to occur far too quickly and had a dream like quality … it just couldn’t be real. Was I losing my mind? Shaking my head for the fourth time that evening I closed my eyes tightly and tried to comprehend all Jacob had told me. Could it be true? Was Sam planning something to cause me more pain … more loss? Did it mean I was putting Jasper in danger? My mind wouldn’t even allow me to think further down that path. I just couldn’t even imagine what it would be like to lose another vampire that I cared about deeply.

“Bella!”

I recognized the relieved voice of Jasper at once. My eyes shot open and I saw that he was standing in the doorway. His look was wretched. Worry was etched all over his features, but when his eyes locked with mine a peace fell over him and then in one of his famous vampire moves I was suddenly enclosed in a fierce hug. His voice trembled as he spoke into my ear, “You're fine … you're fine.”

Jasper’s hand stroked the back of my wet hair while he continued to murmur that I was fine over and over. He must have really been worried. “It’s okay … I really am fine,” I said while pulling him in tighter. “But, there is something I need to tell you.”

“About Jacob, I assume.” Jasper growled as he pulled away, but still kept his arms wrapped around my torso.

I nodded and could foresee a long night ahead of us discussing something other than our pain for once. Now we had bigger worries, because whatever Sam was planning would no doubt involve not only Jasper and I, but the rest of his family as well.

The moment I had anxiously awaited all day was here. I had no choice, but to follow through with what I set into motion that morning by telling Charlie I would be staying at Angela’s. Thankfully Angela had agreed to my charade and now I needed to see if Jasper would as well.

So, I told him. The flicker of emotion I saw cross his face changed from one of sadness to shock and then back to the usual mask of not caring her wore whenever he was trying to hide his true feelings. I hated that façade more than anything else. If the two of us were truly in this together then he shouldn’t try and hide what he felt. I knew Jasper too well now and could identify when he was employing this tactic and after he replied to my revelation with a “What” I decided to show him just how much I was willing to help him.

I approached Jasper slowly. He needed to see it in my expression just how much I was willing to do for him. I chose not to hug him, which may have seemed like the more intimate thing to do, but I knew better. Our faces had to be locked on each other, so he could witness and feel the devotion I now felt for him. I took his face in my hands and leaned in just close enough to where I could feel the coldness of his skin falling onto me. He had to see. He had to know that I was willing to be there for him no matter what, “Please, Jasper … let me be there for you.”

To my complete disappointment he pulled away. His movement was sudden and performed with the quickness that only his kind could achieve. I was left stunned and a bit saddened by his rejection. My hands were still held upright where only moments before they had been upon Jasper. Now they held onto air. He hadn’t gone far. Only a few feet away, but his head was down, his eyes refusing to meet mine.

“Jasper …” My voice was quiet and timid as I lowered my arms.

Had I crossed some line that I wasn’t aware existed? I took a step toward my friend, but he held out his hand, “Please, stay back.” He asked in a nearly inaudible tone.

“I don’t … that is … what’s wrong?” I was so confused.

Jasper shook his head, but continued to stare at the ground, “I cannot allow you to involve yourself in my life this way. What if … what if Charlie finds out that you are here and besides it is just … wrong …” he trailed off and I was struck with a sudden frustration that was not my own.

Was Jasper worried that he might not be strong enough to withstand the scent of my blood? If I stayed with him in a place that was far away from anyone else did he think he would not be able to stop himself from attacking me?

“Jasper … it’s not like before. You’re stronger. I can feel it in my bones that you will not hurt me. I just know it.” I regained my determination and as I spoke the volume of my voice increased with each word.

This caught his attention and Jasper’s head jerked up in my direction, “It’s not that. I know that I could never hurt you, Bella” He said, his voice serious.

His eyes were intense as they stared into mine and like always I froze while he pulled me in with that vampire gaze of his. Jasper noticed my immobilized state and calmed his inner beast, “I’m sorry, Bella. My aversion to this has more to do with us being male and female and less to do with our unorthodox vampire human relationship.”

He paused for a few minutes seeming to be lost in thought and when he once again returned to the present I saw a change in his demeanor like there was a smile just itching for release. Jasper held it back though and was all business when he said, “Forgive me … I suppose this all has to do with my traditional southern background. Deep down inside me there is a boy who was raised to treat women with respect. I am not like your generation who think nothing of being alone with someone of the opposite sex. Even though I have been through many years of progress where men and women are concerned that does not mean that I can just shut off this part of me. You see for us to be alone in an empty house at night … well, just how do you suppose that would look to someone born during the 1800’s?”

I stood there analyzing all that he had said. This wasn’t exactly something I had anticipated. Sure, my mind had conjured up a number of reasons as to why my vampire friend might fight the idea of me staying the night, but this … this was truly unexpected and also somewhat embarrassing. Why would Jasper’s mind even go there? It was me … Bella … a completely ordinary creature with no sex appeal whatsoever. Besides, the two of us had just lost our significant others which should have taken away any doubt he might have about my intentions. I tried to fight off the red I knew was creeping up my face, but what choice did I have … the girl who wore her heart on her sleeve.

“Bella, please understand that I do want you to stay the night. I know where you are coming from … you simply surprised me.” Jasper spoke, his voice betraying his own embarrassment.

What a situation to be in. On impulse I cupped my flaming cheeks and turned away leaving my duffel bag behind. I ran into the solitude of my truck to think and escape the awkwardness our situation had devolved into.

What the hell? Seriously!

Situated inside my vehicle I closed my eyes, placed my hands to my temples and concentrated on my breathing until I felt the beating of my heart slow. Calmness came over me and at first I welcomed it, but then as time passed I realized the truth behind this feeling. It was not my own.

“Jasper!” I exclaimed.

Turning my head to look out the driver’s side window I caught the culprit red handed. Jasper’s eye brows raised and he showered me with one of his breathtaking smiles, undoubtedly trying to play off his mood manipulation.

“That’s not gonna work.” I commented.

He frowned playfully and then sped to the passenger side door which unfortunately was unlocked.

“Bella, please hear me out … I never meant for any of this to grow so out of proportion.” Jasper was climbing in beside me and I turned to glance at him as he spoke.

His face had transformed back into that freaking mask again. “Okay, Jasper I’ll listen, but only if you will do something for me.”

“Anything!” He replied, a bit of desperation in his voice.

“Stop with this act of yours where you keep your emotions from showing on your face. I hate it when you hide what you are feeling from me. From somebody who can look into my emotions I expect only the same from them in return.”

There I had said it and he had promised to give me what I wanted. I stared at my companion sitting in the little bit of sunlight shinning through the window. The embedded diamonds in his skin shimmered as he nodded, “Yes, of course … I’m sorry.”

“Okay … now I’ll listen to what you have to say.” I gestured with my hand for him to go ahead only to have Jasper take hold of it and bring the hand back down to his level.

Absently he stared at my fingers and traced one of his own cold ones along the appendage while his other hand held mine secure. Then he raised his face to look me straight in the eye, “I am going to share with you something right now and hopefully this will kill two birds with one stone … so to speak.”

“And that would be?” I struggled to say, befuddled by the intense pleasure his touch brought me.

Jasper drew in a breath and then let it out in a sigh, “I will tell you something that reveals who I am and give you a glimpse into me. This should also help you understand my earlier reaction and make up for hiding my emotions from you. You see Bella … I was a …”

He stopped talking and lowered his eyes again to my hand which his fingers continued to caress. “I was a virgin when I met Alice.”

Holy Crap! Floor, please open up and swallow me NOW!

“Jasper … you don’t have to … I mean, please don’t feel the need to …” I was at a loss for words at the can of worms he had opened.

“No, Bella … please, listen. I want you to know this.” He looked up again and the intensity of his golden eyes kept me from protesting any further, “When I was changed all those years ago by Maria I was very young, but even before my immortal life was thrust upon me, I knew that there was one thing that I wanted more than anything else. You see I thought that when the South finally defeated The Union Army I would find myself a wife and start a family and if I were fortunate enough marry then my wife would be my first. I never was the type of man who would take advantage of a woman and perform such an act of love without marriage being involved. It was beneath me to take a woman’s honor from her and besides who had time for such dalliances when a war was raging. But, then I was changed and my life took on such a different path. I became someone in a constant cycle of vengeance and blood lust. Love was never even an afterthought for me as I pushed through each day. It simply did not exist and even though Maria had offered her body as a reward for my accomplishments on more than one occasion, I had never felt the need to revel in such a thing as sex. Maria was not slighted by my refusal … both of us were creatures of war. Sex was not something we longed for. We craved blood and vengeance, but then Alice …”

Jasper paused as if he were gathering the courage to complete his story. I was sure his difficulty in doing so had to do with his remembrances of Alice and as he struggled I felt the need to help him along. No longer did I feel embarrassed about the subject matter … I would be far too immature if I thought what he spoke of had to do with just sex. Jasper was finally revealing his innermost emotions to me and I needed to show him that I would be able to support and help my friend. “Then Alice what, Jasper?” I prompted him with a soothing voice.

If vampires were capable of crying, then I was certain that the one sitting across from me would have. His face expressed the most sorrowful expression I had ever seen him make, complete with creased forehead and perfectly pursed lips, “But, then Alice came into my life. Such a creature of light she was when compared to myself. Before her my immortal existence had been nothing, but constant misery, but she brought me love and for the first time since becoming a vampire I longed to display that love in the physical sense.”

Because one of my hands lay sandwiched in between his I became aware when they began shaking and so I reached out with my other hand to grasp his trembling ones tightly. “It’s okay, Jasper … you don’t have to explain anymore. I understand exactly why you are not comfortable with me staying the night. I’ll call Charlie right now and tell him Angela cancelled on me.”

“No.” Jasper shook his head fervently, “I don’t want you to leave me. It only took me a moment to realize that I am fine with you staying, Bella … please, don’t go. I need you … more than I feel comfortable admitting.”

I suddenly felt myself being pulled against Jasper’s chest in a deep embrace. His hold on me was stifling, but I said not a word about it. He needed me and he wanted me to stay the night with him. That was all I needed to know. “Jasper … you never have to worry. I will always be here for you no matter what happens.” I whispered into his ear.

My body was pulled in even tighter by his vampire strength and I could no longer keep silent about the pain in my chest he caused. At this point I seriously feared asphyxiation. “Jasper …” I croaked out, “Um … can’t breathe.”

He released me at once, “Oh sorry … I guess I don’t know my own strength.” Jasper chuckled softly.

After my breathing returned to normal and no longer sounded ragged, I smiled at Jasper. Then with my heart swelling from the knowledge he had finally opened up to me about Alice, I said, “By the way … thank you for telling me that. It must have been difficult.”

I reached out with my hand and softly placed it against the side of his face. He leaned into the touch while closing his eyes briefly, but said nothing in reply. Reliving the memory had been heart wrenching for him. I could see the deep sadness shrouding his face and even though I felt sorry for Jasper I did not regret him telling me. His revelation could only help the healing process for him in the long run. The memory he opened up for my sake was only the beginning. It was the first chink in the dam that kept Jasper’s emotional pain from flowing forth. With each recollection of Alice another crack would be added and before long the ability to think of Alice without falling apart could be accomplished.

We sat in my truck. Neither one of us speaking. The air no longer dripped with tension and for a few fleeting moments we simply were at peace, with my hand pressed against Jasper’s cold skin and his emotions slowly opening up for me to see. I was calm in his presence and although, my friend was the reason for this he was not the cause. These were my feelings straight from the core of Bella.

It was Jasper who eventually pulled us from our comfort in each other. His fingers reached up and pulled down my hand from his face. “I do believe we are neglecting today’s project.” He said.

“Mmmmm … Yeah, I suppose you are right.” I smiled, unwilling to let go of the tranquility the vampire had created within me.

Jasper opened up the passenger side door and slid out of the cab. “I’ll go get your duffel bag.” He said, peeking his head in once more.

I nodded in reply and watched as he shut the door and walked behind my truck. From the rear view mirror I could see Jasper lift up my bag with the greatest of ease as if the item were a feather and then launch it over his shoulder.

“Are you coming?” He shouted as he passed by me.

“Yes, I’ll be there in a second.” I replied, feeling no need to holler back, Jasper could hear me.

He winked in my direction and then headed toward the house. I continued to stare after him as he moved away. A sigh escaped my mouth then. Something had changed pertaining to us. It was not just in his confession, although, that had been the starting point for me. Instead it was in the moments after Jasper’s story. That connection I felt to him as we sat in silence was profound and I knew then that I could never leave Jasper behind. As long as he needed me around then I would be there.